Micheal Kimmel ("Bros before Hos")

   The essay " Bros Before Hos" by Micheal Kimmel, made me really change my views and opinions about boys and their behaviors. In this essay it states that many times boys are following a "guy code" in order to fit in. Boys are suppose to be seen as tough and masculine in order to be considered as normal or acceptable by others. A question was asked to a group of boys on what does it mean to them on being a man. The responses:"do not cry, take it like a man", surprised many but they did not surprise me. It did not surprise me because, from a young age boys are being taught that they should not cry and they need to "man up" and not show emotions. Growing up hearing all these demands and myths, this is what makes boys get the " I do not care" attitude, when in fact they may have a different opinion inside. They may be hiding many emotions and secrets that they do not want others to know or else they may get bullied or seen as an outsider. Many times boys are bullied because they do not meet the criteria in being a tough guy and are called names such as; sissy, girl, skirt, mommas boy. If you ask a group of teenage boys what is the first and worst thing to get bullied on, they will say that it is being called gay for the way a student acts, dresses, walks and expresses themselves. This action can lead to them loosing friends, a social life and their self esteem, because they become overwhelmed with all the pressure and with all the things they have kept in to themselves. Sadly, as a result of this many boys become aggravated and feel depressed, humiliated and leads to them not putting any effort in communicating with others, not paying attention to their school work, dropping out of school or even worse suicide. I think that Boys want to keep their manhood and pride because they are being harassed and pressured their whole life's about this topic, therefore; they see it as a necessary everyday struggle instead of an option. Boys get pressured about it at school, work, with peers, in sports and even withing their own family members. A large amount of boys are not able to turn to their families for help or for a melt down, but when a girl gets hurt or has a problem, they are able to cry and ask for help because it is what is seen as "okay" for them. But, if a boy does the same thing, then that is when the questions begin, is he gay? is he okay? whats wrong with him?. Since a large amount of a boys life they keep everything in and become distant from others, they usually break down through violence or self petty, that way they are still seen as the cool guy or the tough guy. In my opinion i think boys should be able to express themselves freely and speak their mind just as girls do because it is what keeps our mind and soul sane, the more they hold it in the more it accumulates in the long-run. if we give them more of a break with the pressure in manhood, then I do believe that they will be more sensitive and understanding towards others and themselves.